lyrics and other stuff.

 

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naive lyrics.

voices lyrics.

 

***

 

she said

she said i was mistaken
to think i couldn't fly
too afraid to see
the world beneath my eyes

she said no one would listen
to anything we'd say
she said she didn't care
bout anything down there

surely things must change
surely, i agree
i know things don't come back
i know eventually

but sometimes looking back
sometimes late at night
sometimes in the afterglow
i wonder where'd she go

she said she couldn't be
anything but she
she said she couldn't feel
anything but me

she said deep in her dreams
deeper than all fears
somewhere there was peace
inside

she told me about beauty
she told me about love
she taught me that naivety
was nothing bad at all

she told me bout other people
she told me bout their laughs
sarcasm created nothing
but crippled all she loved

irony was death, she said
slowly going backwards
and nothing else than cowardice
a defence for the weak

honesty meant frailty
sincerity meant pain
her eyes grew so much clearer then
smiling like a falling star
she said she couldn't be
anything but she
she said she couldn't feel
anything but me

she said deep in her dreams
deeper than all fears
somewhere there was peace
inside

i know she wouldn't be
anything but she
i know i cannot be
anything but me

so sure that in her dreams
deeper than her fears
somewhere we'd find peace
inside

***

a night out

friday night up your nose
for all i know we're too close
you can leave, i don't care
cause i can fly and i won't share

people die, people crawl
i'm the one to kill them all

float among the stars again
all you knew was wrong again
e my thoughts and run the night
sanity not on my side

fell the bullets in your head
feel the venom, feel you're dead
hope and glory down the drain
you will never sleep again

out of money, gone nowhere
out of reality, i don't care
cause i can fly and i won't share
what you are is what you wear

dance away the scars again
all you felt was wrong again
h my thoughts and fuck alright
darker flesh to ease the night

***

round here

sail away
the years pass you by
and i can't forget your shut eyes

keep me in
and drink up, run dry
this is the mirth of the night

follow me
right through the horizon
where your burnt heart gets some sleep

change the time
where life is worth breathing
and nothing is broken to sighs

but round here...
the rain
round here...
it's all the same

drift away
leaves fall on our hearts
and nobody knows how i grieve

whispers soak
the tears off your grave
never united again

never united again

so round here...
the rain
round here...
it's all the same
round here...
this shame
round here...
it's all the same

***

mother

helpless
red thoughts dripping through my blue
when you told me your isnt
gone, but not with the wind

dead before alive
a face that should have heired your beauty
hands that never feel your warmth
the grey of still seas

your scream too loud to be heard
all advice turns to absurd
we can't understand
we can only feel
november in your soul

summer left you drowned
dust assembling on the prospects
you would call your own
in stuttering amazement we gaze

dry your eyes
while your shivers search the nightmares
the moon hangs upside down
shades like frost-torn trees

your face too hard to be felt
all we say fadedly melts
we can't understand
we can only feel
november in your soul

all too close to be real
nothing else left to feel
we can't understand

***

she is dead

the stars not bright enough
for what you will
the sun is older now
from overkill
the clouds swim listlessly
to lifeless seas
some distorted face
on the screen

fingers stumbling on the keys
automatic poetry
phrasing phrases
virtual victims of what used to be
part-time dying
the burning urge for nothing special
there's always you
there's always you behing my eyes

i choke on words
choke on laughs
i bleak my skin
to dirt and coughs
i gasp for smoke
h some light
pleading guilty
beg for night

but night's a coat that wears me
inside out
my mouth a grin
that scares me like my own
the clocks all stopped
their ticking never rains into my mind
change me, please
change me

or come back here and breathe my life
and close my eyes in quiet nights
and wipe these stains away from me and start again
and hold my hand
and all i need is what i bleed
and all i see is not for me
the wind still cries, the crows still fly,
the poets lie and i'm too scared to dream

your smile a ghost
a haunting blue in my nights
you'll never know
the way your eyes closed my life

soul in black and white
these hours without you still smell of worn-out photographs
icy dreams repeat the second
the world froze with your cardiograph
circling downwards
charcoal teeth inside my head
sharpened grey
gnawing in my bones
all this talk of getting over
forgetting
replacing
regretting

drift into this void
cackling out myself
life goes backwards here
life leaks screams
escaping from escaping
nothing nowhere nevermore
whoever whenever: agreed
stop me going on
stop me, please

***

tuesday night blues

something in that glass that keeps us breathing
less than nothing bulging through our heads
our hands might shake, but we're hunters in this jungle
of smiling girls to help us through the night

the bar reflects the shadows on our faces
our talk is slow and empty and too quiet
a silent prayer, you will not see our lips move
read the lament dripping from our eyes

and our hearts were lost in a bottle
late last night

driving home too late again tonight
her beside me is like running on empty
like a dream you never quite believed in
like a book you've read too many times

and my heart's lost in a bottle
out of sight, out of mind

and since my heart was lost in a bottle
they stole the light from my eyes

but sometimes i remember years before and all this time that's lost
sometimes i recall and i adore and i regret
sometimes when this headache is not everything i see and feel
sometimes going home is nothing bad

and if your heart was lost in a bottle
you're my friend

cause my heart was lost in a bottle
and my eyes are dayblind since then
and my smile was trapped in that bottle
but you're my friend
whatever they say
you're my friend

***

nothing more

the red sun blood on the snow
the sky trying to glow
my room covered in ice
me on the floor, me and my life
going down again, running around again
through it all again for there's nothing more

all i see mirrors itself
all i hear is closing my eyes
on the radio no one speaks to me
outside nothing moves
all these tears again drowning myself again
through it all again for there's nothing more

the same endless sky, same endless life
same endless nights and there's nothing more
backwards tonight, somewhere to hide
the demon inside for there's nothing more

mouth shut, teeth fall down
burning stains paint my face
out of time, out of my head
out of anything, nothing to say
all this time wasted for myself
on my bed again, sleep is dead

the same endless sky, same endless life
same endless nights and there's nothing more
backwards tonight, somewhere to hide
the demon inside for there's nothing more
nothing is here, nothing is real
nothing for me, but the same endless fears

maybe i died and you're still alive
nothing makes sense, nothing's intense
nothing is here, nothing is real
nothing for me, the same endless fears
snow in my heart, blood on my hands
it breaks me apart, everything ends
and all this and nothing, all this is drowned
so kiss it goodbye, kiss it goodbye.

***

about us

from the stardust that we shed
from the summers we remember
from the music of what's dead
take the chalk to paint my face

in the song that does not end
in the eyes that do not focus
in the scars that will not mend
find the things they can't erase

though the grass grows slower now
and my voice is lower now
and the wind smells dark and cold today

the sun on your face
the smiles you embraced
the love that you craved
still breathing

the songs all remain
the laughter unstained
the sun on your face
not sinking

and in all the things we're missing
and in all the time we grieve
and in every hour we're drifting
feel the magic that won't leave

though our room's a shroud
and our bench is burned
and the sky is cloudy now

the summer remains
a spark on my face
our laughter unstained
still ringing

the first times we dared
the silences shared
the wind in your hair
still breathing

our eyes never close
our dreams won't grow old
the same endless road
forever

though they'll never understand
and we're always all alone
under stars and endless void
there's a falling star we own

from the stardust that we shed
from the summers we have left
in the song that never ends
there are scars that will not mend

the sun on your face
the smiles you embraced
the love that you craved
still breathing

the summer remains
like sand in my hands
the fall on my face
retreating

the future we dared
the worlds that we shared
our laughter unstained
still ringing

our eyes may have closed
our dreams may grow old
your story is told
forever

and all this is gone
and all has gone wrong
but the last song i sing
is smiling

and all you may laugh
that times will be rough
but the last song i sing
is smiling

 

***

 

voices

neon hell a dream of whatever lost it anyway why should i find the strength to stop holding my breath? oh stupid me wasting air for vows never meant to keep i want to get closer but it s not about what i want

crossed-out lies is that truth? how could i hope to find you without losing me first? can you dream without sleeping? i can sleep without dreaming, does that count?

you say i m here but i am too i m told yet i can t close my eyes tight enough to find you so i look for myself in you? is that love? is that the question?

straight through forever in a sudden town everybody s guilty your dreams the empty script that i m supposed to write but you know i cannot even read

you re so healthy i only have my sickness against your blue blue skies so we rather sit and talk to walls about my walls time not running out but please please do

and the summer burns a lifeline into my palm but i can t recall my local colour there s a back door in your rear view left ajar and we cast a dream of lands beyond far you wrench me to the backseat of your car you rape me like the victims we are there s a blind spot on no-matter-how-far drag me to pipe-dream hearts

 

***

 

august in me

the sun in my eyes so bright still so sleepy yet high and dry woke up as sunday all in bloom no regrets there s nothing to loose

the taxi s waiting the door falls shut all bridges burning and that was that she s in her bed behind that wall the next night is waiting and i won t call

it s alright just don t get involved i hope that she s smiling too and so i walk off into the dawn that s my friend that s my home

and the world turns like a dream today and the clouds fly south out of my way it s the august in me

the scent of her hair still with me one last thought of her and me all she needed was in my eyes a poet's look and a hatful of lies

it s alright just don t get involved i hope she is smiling too and so i drive off into the dawn that s my friend that s my home

and the world smells like a dream today and the clouds turn south out of my way and my feet don t touch the ground these days though the faces blur to one that s dead there is autumn in me

 

***

 

party piece

and then you topple off all that you are the vampire the victim the knife and the scar you roll back your fangs and you fold up your blade the sun lets you sleep while your life is awake

but all the monsters still reek of your fires discarded and crippled from wounds that you sired outcasts and beggars in vanity s reich raped stabbed and strangled yet still hold the line

always a next one to sacrifice blood always a virgin to spill what she s got your beach sunset smile and your butterfly words do you recall what you covered in dirt? what colour is dirt?

there s a crack in the world since that day

 

***

 

still

and so it ends i crawl my way with empty hands yes so we tried and then we spoiled ourselves and died

she sent all my letters back she said they re wrong and badly set

i ll stay here in silence

yes so it ends i ll sell my flesh for even less just stroke my hair and break my neck

she sent all my poems back she bought a vcr instead

i ll stay here in silence

your voice in my head in silence and i know where to go in silence no matter how far in silence and you know where i am in silence

 

***

 

faith

there s a crack in the world since that day there s a blind spot your rear view evades and there s suddenly too much at stake

there s a wound propping up its own crust there s a heart you don t know how to trust there s a dream that you hope might just rust

up your tree so high making friends with your fears every night the little girl you hide and you d die to remember her smile up your tree too high?

are your demons still tracking you down? can you feel what your head won t allow? and you can neither swim nor you drown? is there still enough voice for new vows?

and you look at your eyes and they re older than you you re mirror does not want to tell you the truth there s nobody under your skin the last years want to know where you ve been

but tonight we re gonna be alright no need to draw the line we re going home tonight

up your tree over the wire are you alone or just lonesome tonight? pent-up world too vast to hide and there ll be nowhere to go but inside up your tree too high?

there are 8 years that lurk on your back (there s still blood in your bed) and you laugh and you cry to forget (that you cannot forget) there s a world built on no's and instead's (and on bitter regrets) you re too tired to know that you re sad

so you put on more skins as you re cold (in the back of your soul) cause you can t trust the fire you hold (in a world that you know) and your breath feels like air that you stole (from the quiet on your phone) will you change all your ravens for crows?

but tonight we re gonna be alright we ll let our hearts unwind see how our hopes unite

up your tree over the wire there will be nowhere to go but tonight pent-up world bursting inside the answers you craved for right there in your eyes little girl it s your time to rise you don t have to starve to be hungry for life

i know that your stars have been cut from your skies i ve been to the swamp you re so desperate to hide there s so many tears there ll be so many fights but these are our heartbeats and these are our lives

up our trees but don t cut the wires the dreams that you gave up just there in our eyes

 

***

 

second thoughts

but the voices you weave and the wasteland you breathe make me drown in the shower tonight make me hold you too tight

make me cut out my tongue make me scream out my lungs you rip the softness from sweet summernights you hold the day in your fists like a thief in the night

cause the sun might burn the secret off your charms and the greasepaint off your local colour your lies are like a door that s left ajar we all turn to stone from afar

but i remember your eyes i remember... i remember your kiss i remember... i remember <we shall be together>

so i ll stay here in silence your voice in my head and i know who i am no matter how far i will know where to go in silence

 

***

 

after

yes that girl remembers too and is she coming after you pointing fingers whispering whys her shadow echoes through your wall and her breath still locks your door her breath keeps sticking in your throat behind your back her naked eye

she will be right outside your door when your eyes close and darkness cries she will be whispering through your mouth and make the truth drain through your eyes and she ll feast on the beast that you ll leak

and when you dream you dream of sleep sleep without her bloodstained teeth sleep to kill her throbbing tears kill the scorches on her skin kill the seed you placed within kill the pleas from her stuffed mouth scathing scarves to hold her down

she ll be the dissonance you ll hear inside the laughter of your child she ll be the skin you cannot peel when you are naked with your wife will she see sniff her squeals through your ears?

can they smell her breath? does it linger in your hair? can they trace your memories through the alibis you swear? have they found the fingerprints you left inside her pants? her lipstick s on the sleeve of every single shirt you wear

the summer painted in her eyes so bright her pureness shivers down your spine snowblind

did they see you stare at her last weekend at the mall? has she told her parents? do the cops now tap your calls? your voice might reek suspicious the mirror makes you sweat the prostitutes are helpless against the limpness in your bed you re a vampire sucking daylight past redemption past regret

and the smile she smiled that night so bright you had to feel it from inside snowblind her summer painted on her thighs her hair the sweetness of blue skies her skin like china in first light your mouth like ash her eyes clenched tight

 

***

 

curtain call

and the streets that you walked all empty and cold and the buildings you passed will miss you at last and the rain has come back like the ache in my head and your flowers all dead like skins that you shed and my coffee is bitter in the cups you don t touch and i drown in the litter of chatter and laughs

and your street and your house on the day you moved out turned to places i fear turned to ghosts i still hear and the songs that we heard they now stop my whole world make the oceans feel drowned and the stars all crash down

and the letters that you send lay my heart into your hands every day my life is leaking sometimes tears might not be bad but today they re all i have and tonight s a void repeating

and the mirror you smiled at has shut down his glass and the water you bathed in is ice on the past and the bed that you slept in now barren and dead and all that is missing is all that you said

and the doors that you opened they creak now and sigh and the bus you would sit in goes slower tonight and though i might keep talking i ll forget how to sing and with all my friends laughing i can t feel a thing

and the days you write about they re like candlelights gone out ever since my life s been leaking and the rain might make amends and its chill might understand but those summer smiles are cheating and i m not living i m just breathing though i miss you too much and i m not trying to go on lest i forget your last touch and all i really have to say is the same old clichee i confess i must have loved you

 

***

 

forget me now

are there ashes in your heart? are there relics that you guard? do your shutters leave you dark? and when you sleep that s where we are? do your summers leave you cold? like there s too much dream you owe like you cannot pay the sun passing listless passing numb

and those holes in your sky were they stars in days gone by? did they twinkle did they cry when you banned them from your sight? came off easy or stuck tight? did you have to scratch or wipe? do they whisper still at night?

sell me now replace me now erase me now forsake me now reject me now regret me now forget me now

forget me now cause i m always waiting

bleed my blood and close my eyes efface my breath and mute my voice burn my letters with daylight let you touches exorcise all my music from your head all my fingerprints instead blur my picture with new eyes and all kisses you might try

though those holes in your sky may be stars from days gone by though they twinkled though they cried when you banned them from their light and though they really did stuck tight and you had to scratch and wipe they ll stop whispering tonight

sell me now dissect me now detach me now replace me now forsake me now regret me now forget me now

 

***

 

ghosts

burned out colours scarred lies like dust on the floor the pages of your broken diary drowing slow in the rain that pours

and could you cry if i had to? and walk my streets if i let you? could you come where i went to? to breathe my breath if i forget to? for that s the way my story goes and that s the secret everyone knows that there s the rain there s the rain

and the silence bites my fingernails too many truths to be told you and me that s three always always a voice on the wind a whispering dream

but that s alright just don t get involved i hope that you re smiling too and so i walk off into the dawn that s my friend that s my home